God Is
by Tawariell
Summary: Why did Castiel actually look for Sam and Dean in "Changing Channels"? Because he had finally found God. In a cake shop. And here is where it gets interesting...for Gabriel, at least. One-Shot. Maybe.


** God Is...**

* * *

The silence was stifling, full of surprise. Gabriel was the first to break it.

"I'm sorry. What?" he exclaimed in a disbelieving voice, looking at him with a myriad of emotions on his face. Castiel repeated himself.

"I have found God. It's why I have been looking for you two. I need your help."

"What? Why? What's wrong?" Sam asked, concern all over his face.

"Father, He.."Castiel swallowed heavily. "He's not as it should be. I don't understand." He shook his head in an unexpected gesture of confusion and helplessness. "You must come with me. Maybe you two can do something."

Dean closed his mouth from where it had opened in surprise and exchanged a heavy look with his brother.

"All right. We're out of here. Beam us up, Cass."

"I'm coming with." Said Gabriel, ignoring the two humans and focusing an intense gaze on Castiel. Dean made to speak, but a sharp look from the archangel made his words die in his throat.

"I am coming with." He repeated himself, uncharacteristically serious, not one hint of the earlier turmoil present in his voice. Just determination and a slight hint of a threat. "I have a few questions of my own for Daddy dearest."

Castiel mused on it for a moment and eventually conceded. Gabriel was His Messenger. He knew God best, maybe he could figure what was going on. He dispelled the holy fire with a short gesture and nodded.

"Very well. Sam, Dean, let's go." He raised two fingers to their foreheads and transported them away, sensing his brother following close behind.

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Samantha waved goodbye to another happy customer and watched as they left the store, the bell ringing her favourite tune, the 'See you later, shitlords' ballad. Shop finally empty, she took off the white apron and sat down at one of the tables, picking up her book and continuing from where she had left off. Tall Tales was her favourite volume by far. She just loved that Trickster character. The world could do with someone like that, delivering just desserts to assholes and fucking bastards. She was barely into the 5th chapter when a group of people from outside caught her attention. Well, their voices did. One yelling, one calm and another, gravely one, which was vaguely familiar. Curiosity peaked, she strained her ears to hear their conversation. Unbidden, the James Bond theme began to play in her head.

"You're telling me he works in a cake shop? "

"It's a confectionery establishment, yes."

"A fucking cake shop?"

"I have already told you, Dean. Yes. "

"Guys? Maybe we should go in. Looks like it's near closing time."

A pause and a heavy sigh.

"OK. Let's do this. That bastard needs a good punch in the face and standing here isn't gonna deliver it."

"Dean-" the gravely voice began, but was interrupted by the bell above the door, playing her most hated tune. The 'Right before closing? Really? Fuck you very much' single.

Sam closed the book with an aggravated snap and turned towards the group. Only they weren't three, they were four. And one of them was known to her. She pasted a smile on her lips and went back behind the counter.

"Blue Eyes! You're back! And you brought friends. Welcome to the Sugary Den, gentlemen. Heaven for your taste buds, Hell for your teeth. What can I get you?"

Her words were met with stunned silence and weird, silent conversations between the floppy haired cute guy and the handsome leather jacket guy. Blue eyes was just looking at her with that uncomfortably intense look of his, but in her eyes, he seemed a little lost. He looked even more adorable, if that was possible, what with his baby blues and ruffled black hair and his crooked tie. And the short gorgeous guy was looking around in interest, admiring the pastries on display with a disturbing amount of concentration. What an interesting group. All of them weird and all of them pretty. If she's lucky, she'll bag one for the night. If she's really lucky, she'll bag two. Those 'silent conversation' fellows looked close. Maybe they were together and would consent to a threesome?

The short blonde one let out a short, strangled cough and moved on to the candy rack, turning his back to her, shoulders shaking. The silence was quickly becoming awkward.

"Why don't you guys have a seat and give me a shout when you've decided what you'd like, hm?" she suggested with a smile, looking at blue eyes. He seemed the most down to earth of the lot, despite his freak out from a few days ago.

He gave her a most serious nod and herded the group towards the corner table with military efficiency. Even that was adorable. He seemed like a child looking to please his mother. Once all of them squeezed into the cream and gold chairs, they began to frantically talk among themselves, gesticulating with short, abrupt motions, not even picking up the menu. Weird. The whole lot of them. But damn, were they fucking gorgeous.

She shook her head with a sigh and picked up her book again. Might as well get some reading in. Oh, Sam. You so silly. Restart the laptop in diagnostic mode and run the antivirus. Everyone knows that.

Ten minutes later and a quarter of an hour 'till closing, Samantha looked up at the foursome, looking to see if they wanted to order. Well, they were certainly looking at her, that's for damn sure. Creepily sharp.

She cleared her throat, hoping to make them stop looking at her like a bug under a microscope.

"Have you boys decided what you'd like?"

Handsome opened his mouth to order, but Gorgeous beat him to the punch with a playful glint in his eyes and a smile.

"Actually, why don't you recommend us something?"

Handsome turned to glare at him and only Cute's elbow jab to his side kept him from probably making a scene. Her hero!

"Sure thing. Fell free to choose whatever you'd like if I don't get it right. Okay...Let's see. Since you're so enthusiastic, let's start with you, Handsome." The man raised an eyebrow at the compliment, but stayed silent.

"How about a Pavlova Torte for you, Angel Food Cake for the Cutie, some Tiramisu for Baby Blue and Red Velvet for the hot stuff?"

They just stared at her.

"Miss, I have no idea what you just said. Do you have any pie?" Handsome told her with such rudeness, that she could keep the comment to herself even if she did try her hardest. Which she didn't. She was tired, goddamit! She just wanted to go home and take a long bubble bath and daydream about cute, naked men!

"Sure, if you want to be boring and unimaginative. Also, I'm demoting you. You aren't Mr. Handsome anymore.

The blondie burst into laughter and smirked at him.

"Jeez, Dean-o. Not even 30 seconds in and she already hates you. Not even I in all of my existence managed that. You should give lessons." The smirk was replaced with a light smile when he looked at her. "Make that an apple pie for him and a Strawberry Shortcake for Cassie and we're all good, beautiful."

She smiled at him and sauntered back to the counter, grabbing plates and utensils. 3 minutes later, she went back with a full tray and placed the delicious confections on the table, Blue Eyes looking at everything with curiosity.

He reminded her of a child, endlessly curious, almost naive and endearingly adorable. The man just brought out her motherly instincts. Samantha privately thought he was a child trapped in a man's body, especially with his vehement certainty that she was some long lost parent of his or something, as their first meeting showed. She was no one's father, that's for damn sure. For one thing, she was younger than him. Second, she was certain that she still had a vagina. Samantha was pretty sure he was a bit 'special' and the other 3 were his caretakers. It would explain everything.

The taller one's voice brought her out of her musings.

"I couldn't help but notice your book. Have you read the whole series?"

"Supernatural? Fuck yeah! It's my guilty pleasure. Are you a fan?"

"Not exactly." He grimaced. "But my brother and I have read it and we were wondering what was your opinion on it." He gestured towards the rude guy, giving her all of his attention.

"Brother? So you two aren't a couple?" she asked, a little confused. Huh. There was barely any resemblance between them. Maybe they were adopted brothers. Gorgeous burst into snickers again while the siblings sighed and scowled, tipping her to the fact that they probably got that a lot.

"No, we are not." The Cutie confirmed and looked at her, waiting in polite interest.

"Well, I'll start with the bad stuff. Get it out of the way. The writing is terrible, the pacing is all over the place, there's too much description in some places, most characters I want to punch in the face and what really bugs me is that Sam never truly reached his potential! I mean, becoming the Boy King of Hell would mean that he could have had complete control over the demons, including Lilith. Which means he could have had Dean's contract. I mean, sure. Dean would have bitched and moaned, but together they could have done it, instead of gallivanting around doing fuck all, letting that little bitch screw around with them. Come on, Sam! Grow a par, grab destiny by the balls and squeeze until she's your whore!" she finished with a frustrated shout, hands furiously wringing an imaginary neck.

"Wow, lady. Tell us how you really feel." Mr Rude said in the ensuing silence, raising a sarcastic eyebrow at her. She gave a little embarrassed cough.

"Right. Sorry. Don't get me wrong, I love the series as a whole, but Sam and Dean? Not one imaginative braincell between them. And now for the good parts. The world and the setting is awesome and Carver Edlund actually did his research. Everything is as accurate as it can be for a horror/supernatural genre. I looked up most of the lore and it's all there. Right. The story is compelling, the hunts are awesome, the brothers are what a family should be like except without the whole co-dependent thing. Although I do wish they'd just hug more. Words may be all good, but nothing affirms and reassures better than a hug. And finally, the creatures and monsters. Love them all." She continued with relish. "The ghosts scare the crap out of me, the vampires are much more realistic than that sparkly fairy crap and the werewolves are a nice addition to the mythos. And Madison, I loved her character. Poor girl. Witches? Gross but deadly. And my favourite character is, of course, the Trickster."

Twin groans from the brothers greeted her confession and a triumphant 'Ha!' from the shortie.

"What? He's awesome!" she asked, confused by the display.

"Why would you like that SOB? He's killing people!" exclaimed the rude dude, glaring at the smirking blonde.

"I'm a firm believer in the 'what goes around, comes around' philosophy. Karma's a bitch. " Sam shrugged. "And also, I don't know if you noticed, but the world is going down the crapper. The Trickster is needed to keep the worst in line. Kinda like spiders and insects. Everyone hates them, but they keep the world in shape, killing mosquitoes and pollinating the plant life."

"Hear that dude? You're a fucking bee."

"Why would that be an insult? Bees are one of God's most wonderful creations." Blue eyes interjected with a frown, looking honestly confused at Rude Dude's jab.

"Aww, Cassie. Stop it. You're making me blush. Hear that Dean-o? I'm God's most wonderful creation." Smirked the blonde, obviously mocking right back. He then looked back at her with a pleased smile.

"So I'm your favourite? I'm flattered kiddo. Please, tell me more about how awesome I am."

"What? Not you, hot stuff. The Trickster. Weren't you listening?"

"Oh, I was. I'm pretty sure you said I was your favourite character. Here's your chance to talk to me in the flesh." ,he boasted and winked at her.

Her mind stuttered to a halt. Wait. What? Hold the fucking train. Was he...? No way. He had to be joking. For sure. Yeah, definitely joking. Supernatural wasn't real. She was pretty sure that if monsters were real, people would have seen them and told the world. But...

...they did tell. Didn't she just say that the lore was accurate?

Samantha looked him in the eye and could find no hint of a joke, no mocking. Just calm anticipation. He was being completely serious. Well then. She'll play along for now. This thing would be easy to prove or dismiss. No need to panic or take him at his word. If he really was the Trickster, then he could prove it.

"All right then. Snap me up a gilded throne and I'll tell you all about it once I get nice and comfy."

"That's it? I was expecting something more interesting." He whined a little and raised his fingers for a snap. And in the next moment her ass was parked on the most exquisite thing in the world, magically squished between Rude Dude and Cutie. Looking at it, It was made of skillfully forged metal – shit, was that solid gold?- cushioned with red velvet, elegant in its simplicity and beautiful in every way.

"Holy fuck, that's the most goddamned comfy thing my ass ever sat upon." She exclaimed in surprised pleasure and wriggled a bit on the cushion. "I'm definitely keeping this."

The Trickster smiled, pleased and leaned forward on his elbows.

"Glad you like it. I'm sure you have questions, but introductions first. Loki, the God of Trickery and Mischief at your service." He gave her a minute for it to sink in, watching her expression with interest, before continuing. "You're not freaking out or gushing. Not that I'm complaining, but that reaction isn't normal."

Samantha blinked at him and looked back at the other three men.

"Since he's apparently real, I assume so are Sam and Dean and all of the monsters and scary crap that want to kill and eat you?"

"Fucking right, sister. I'm Dean Winchester, this is my brother Sam." Rude Dude introduced, gesturing towards himself and his brother. "And trench-coat there is Cass."

"Cass?" she asked, making eye contact with Blue Eyes.

"Castiel." He corrected, all serious like. "I am an Angel of the Lord."

Samantha blinked. And then she blinked again. Nope. He didn't look like he was joking.

"Okay. That's nice. Good for you." She said to him slowly, like he was a child and turned back to the Trickster.

"Samantha G. Morrison. Pleased to meet you all." She said pleasantly enough and then promptly reached on either side and smacked Sam and Dean across the head.

"Friggin' hell, woman! What th-!"

"That's for being so damn oblivious and dunderheaded! Now eat your pie. It's getting stale while you sit on your ass and bitch at me."

"Just wondering, but why aren't you freaking out?" Sam asked her a moment later, pushing a slice of strawberry across the plate with his fork.

"I'm much too busy wondering what your business here is. I heard you talking outside about some guy working here, but I'm the only employee here and my boss is away on vacation in Europe. And a lady. So either your business is with me or you have the wrong place. However, Castiel's presence pretty much clears that up, since he was here 5 days ago, looking for his father, of all things."

She meant the last part as a joke, but no one was smiling. In fact, they looked more serious than ever, fixing her with an uncomfortable amount of intensity.

"Guys? Spit it out. You're freaking me out now, for real."

Castiel reached into his coat pocket and pulled out something, bright light escaping through the gaps of his closed fist.

"This is an amulet. It burns hot in the presence of God." He explained in a low voice, opening his hand and letting it drop onto the table. Immediately upon contact, the glass top began to heat up and redden, melting a 4 inch circle around it. The amulet fell to the floor with a quiet plop. Without giving it a single rational thought, Samantha quickly picked it up to save the wooden floor from going up in flames. It was cold in her palm. It shone like a miniature sun, the chord around it long burned to ashes, but the amulet was cold.

She tore her gaze from it, feeling the heavy stares of the two, very real supernatural beings and two very dangerous humans. What, were they implying she was the big kahoona? Did they really think she was God? That was the most stupid thing she had ever heard in her life. Ever. It was absolutely inconceivable.

"No. Not in a million years. Nope. Nuh-uh." She fervently denied, making a giant X with her arms, having shoved the amulet back into Castiel's hands.

"Samantha.."

"No."

"Father, plea-"

"I'm not your dad, Castiel!"

"Kiddo."

"No, Loki. I can't possibly be God."

"Why not?"

"Because, Sam, If I really were God –an all powerful and omnipotent celestial being- I wouldn't be working! I would spend my days lazing around, playing video games, screwing with people and getting laid! I'm a selfish, greedy, slutty, slothful, opinionated human being! I can't be given any amount of power because I'd abuse the hell out of it! Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely!" she finished with a rasping shriek, taking short, deep breaths, looking just a slight push short of a full on freak out. She continued in a much calmer tone.

"I'm willing to believe you guys are real and even that Castiel is an angel. After all, evil needs good to balance it out. Yin and Yang and crap. But I am not God. I think I would know If I were."

The foursome exchanged glances, having a full conversation just by raising eyebrows and frowning a lot. Eventually they seemed to reach an understanding and Loki promptly snapped them away, along with the table and chairs between them. Or maybe they hadn't, as the expressions on their faces before they disappeared were ones of surprise, anger and maybe a little betrayal.

Sam stayed silent as she watched him purse his lips in thought and get up and pace a little. He stopped right in front of her, close enough to see the flecks of gold in his eyes but not close enough to make her feel cornered. He looked earnest and serious.

"I'm gonna level with you, kiddo. I don't think you're God." Sam almost went limp with relief, but his next words made her tense even more.

"But that's not what we're gonna tell everyone else."

"What? Why?" she croaked, dismayed.

"I am almost certain this is a test for both the angels and for humanity from the real God. It looks like His style." She took a moment to think about it. It was certainly probable and it unnerved her, because that's what she would have done.

"Also, real godhood or not, you are the last symbol of hope those three dunderheads have."

"Hope? What hope? Wha- how can you even be so sure that they'll buy it? How do I look even remotely like a benevolent celestial being?" she challenged. The question made him pause for a moment, while visibly bracing himself for something.

"I am one of the only four who have looked upon His face and spoke with Him. I am His Messenger; it would be pretty pathetic of me to fall for such a ruse or not recognize Him when I see Him." He smiled sadly, looking her straight in the eye and waiting for her reaction.

Messenger? Messenger of God? His Strength? One of the four? One of the Archangels? Dammit.

"You're Gabriel.", Sam stated in a straight voice. He simply nodded and an expectant pause settled between them. An unnatural calm fell upon her, adrenaline finally kicking in, clearing her mind and bringing everything into sharp focus. It felt like she was dreaming, where everything was easily grasped and reality could be changed by a simple thought from her subconscious mind. Like lucid dreaming. Damn, those were fun dreams. But for now, she'd settle for things making sense.

"Wonderful. Good for you. But why would the amulet choose me? Why not some other poor bastard?"

"I don't know, kid. I'm not arrogant enough to claim to know how Father thinks. Maybe he just liked your name or something. You're named after me, right? Gabriela?" he asked with a cheeky grin, winking at her.

"It's Abby, short stack. Or Sam."

"Height jokes? Really Sammy? How very original."

"Shut up. I'm still busy digesting the fact that my favourite character is real. And a fricking Archangel. Who happens to be my favourite winged celestial as well. And stop looking so damned pleased. You were the lesser evil."

"Oh? Do tell." He wiggled his eyebrows so ridiculously, she felt herself relax a bit.

"Michael seemed like a giant stick in the mud, I hated Raphael's name and Lucifer was too sad to think about. And then there was the littlest archangel, the Holy Messenger, running around and ruining everyone's day. You seemed like the most likeable one. But enough ego-stroking. How come He'd be so sure I could have people fooled, have them believing in the ruse? Why would He think I would play along?"

Gabriel sighed and without so much as a token gesture, the golden throne turned into a small couch. He made himself comfortable and turned sideways towards her.

"For those with eyes to see, it's actually pretty obvious." Samantha gave a short laugh of disbelief.

"How is it obvious? I don't have a boyfriend, I am not an X-Men, I can't make it rain Skittles and I don't have a talking rainbow-farting flying unicorn. If it were obvious, I'd think I'd have all of those and more."

"It's not quite that obvious. Not for outsiders. But for someone of our family it's enough. Clue number one. You asked for a gilded throne. I gave you an exact replica of Daddy's throne. Don't you feel like you've been waiting for something like that all your life? Like you've been reunited with a long-lost friend?"

She reluctantly nodded. She felt like she could have stayed eons on that sinfully perfect chair.

"Number two. No matter the person or object, you always find something beautiful in everything. And no, you aren't just an optimist. On really bad days, the state of the world makes you cry at night and its inhabitants are His most beloved creation. It stands to reason that everything pleases you in one way or another and makes you sad enough to be depressed about it."

"Clue number three. Despite appearances and serious demeanor, Cassie is one of the youngest angels of the Host. He was barely out of diapers when Daddy dearest went to buy a pack of smokes and forgot to return. It's why you feel so motherly towards him and find him so adorable."

Samantha didn't comment on the fact that he was reading her mind and probably had been from the moment he saw her. She fixated on another piece of information.

"God's missing? Is that why you were looking for Him?" Gabriel scowled.

"Not me. The three stooges. I was just along for the ride. I knew they were looking for him, but I didn't actually expect them to find anything. After all, if He doesn't want to be found, then no-one would find Him."

"So that asshole just..what. Injected me with a divine personality cocktail, gave me some of his quirks and left me here to take the heat as his doppelganger?" she demanded, a little angry.

"Basically." Well, at least he was a little sympathetic, Sam thought sarcastically. "But even He isn't that cruel as to leave you with no means of protecting yourself. He would have left you a bit of His power and knowledge in order to really fool whoever came after you. It's probably buried somewhere deep into your mind and soul, waiting for the right moment to rise to the surface, to be released and put to use. We're telling them you just chose to be reborn as one of your creations to see how that would be like.

"Right...good for me. So why now? Why were those three looking for God in the first place?" she asked, not really wanting to know but her instincts screaming that she had to know. Next to her, the angel gave her a considering look and nodded to himself.

"I think I'm going to let them explain. It will look more authentic when you do react all shocked and disbelieving. The gist of it is that they need divine help with an issue of... apocalyptic proportions." He grinned at the pun, but Sam didn't know what was so funny about that adjective.

"So now what?" she asked after a moment of still silence, the blanket of calm slowly fizzing away under the weight of all those revelations. Gabriel looked at her with earnest eyes, the gold flecks looking a lot more pronounced than before, looking as if he was debating something before reaching towards her and gently taking her cold hand in his.

"Samantha, I am not going to lie to you. The situation is pretty bad. But your presence in this alters the game significantly and with your help, we can resolve this with minimum bloodshed. I may have a plan, but I need you to trust me. I will give you everything you need, help in every way I can. All you have to do is play along."

He looked hopeful, sad and determined, sincere and a little desperate and she couldn't help but believe him. Because underneath it all, the emotions and the ocean of power she could almost see in his molten gold eyes, he was hurting. Suffering. She had always been a sucker for hopeless cases.

And who knew, maybe it would be fun, running around with two angels and two hot pieces of man-flesh. His hand was warm enough to chase the cold in hers away, its weight and touch solid and reassuring. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly along with her misgivings and the inner voice screaming denials and profanities. It sounded exactly like her survival instincts. But hey, no one lived forever, right? Well. No human lived forever. Vampires excluded.

"Okay." Sam nodded, voice shaky and small and squeezed his hand.

"Okay." Gabriel smiled and reassuringly squeezed back. Then he gave her a mischievous smile and leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially.

"Now here's what I've managed to put together..."

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OMAKE

"And this is...", Dean trailed off, looking at the tiny notepad, cover a garish pink, sparkling with way too much glitter. He eyed it like it was going to devour him whole. Samatha rolled her eyes.

"It's my bucket list. I was thinking we could do some of them while we wait for Lucifer to make his move." Dean looked thoughtful, opening it to a random page and eyes going wide as he read a few of them, mouthing the words as he did so.

"Bungee jumping? Deep sea scuba-diving? Sky diving? Abby, we don't have the time nor the money to do these things."

"Chill, Dean-o. I got it covered. Archangel, remember?" Gabriel's smug voice came from behind them, having just returned from his little information gathering mission. Samantha nodded in agreement, a giddy grin pasted across her face.

"Exactly! And let's not forget my power as well. I could probably go to the moon if I wanted to." She said unthinkingly, then gasped dramatically in surprise. Dean caught on immediately.

"No way. You are not going to the moon. How are you going to breathe, idiot? And let's not mention explosive decompression and freezing to death."

"I am surprised you even know that word." The angel taunted, a thoughtful look on his face. "If we weren't certain before that Father was back, we certainly know now! Wonders will never cease." And before Dean could retort, Gabriel swiped the sparkly notepad from his slack hands and opened at the latest entries. His eyebrows rose higher and higher with every line that he read, ending up with him looking incredulously between the pink monstrosity and the fidgeting young lady.

"What?" she snapped defensively when he continued to look at her with disbelief and a healthy dose of amusement. He just cleared his throat dramatically and began to read out loud.

"Part the red sea. Turn water into wine. Create a pocket dimension where Minecraft is real. Have a talking flying rainbow-farting unicorn. Make it rain Skittles. Talk to a cat. And here come the good parts, ladies and gentlemen. Have a threesome with an angel and a demon. Meet a vampire and cut his head off. Go back in time and pet a dinosaur. Go to Mars. Get revengeance on Theodora Roman.- Revengeance?" he stopped reading and asked her.

"Yeah. Revenge isn't enough for what she did to me." Samantha replied with an angry frown.

"Which was..." ,Dean prompted.

"She stole my friend!"

Pause.

"So you swore vengeance-"

"Revengeance." She corrected.

"Whatever! On this girl because she, what. Stole your groupies?"

"Look, man. I was young and I didn't make friends. Ever. Not that I was shy, but because most people, kids my age, were self entitled whiny fucking bitches. Sarah was the first of my classmates that I actually liked. And it was hard for me to reach out to her and strike a friendship. And when I finally have a friend, Theodora walks right in, inserts herself into our dynamics and steals her away. I saw what was happening, but I was to insecure to say anything about it. Fortunately, Sarah had some loyalty, because she stayed by me and resisted any attempts to be steered away from me. Great friend, that woman." She finished with a longing sigh, eyes lost in remembrance.

"So she didn't actually steal your friend." , he concluded. She scowled.

"Shut up. It was very traumatic, ok?"

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_AN: This is from my 2013 NaNoWriMo attempt. I will add more if there's any demand for it. For now, this all that's ready for publishing._

_Thanks for reading! A critique or some advice would be really helpful, if you feel like it.  
_

_Edit: Due to a helpful reviewer (BLANDCorporatio), I changed some adjectives, corrected some spelling and clarified which Sam was speaking._


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